Ann had written a best-selling book on networking and was in town to present at a luncheon sponsored by the Minneapolis chapter of SME. She looked to be in her mid-50′s. As her host, I picked her up at the airport and took her to dinner the night she arrived. I remember thinking how much I admired her optimistic attitude. The woman seemed to be wise beyond her years.
My life at the time was a train wreck. I recently turned 40 and was dealing with several personal disasters including the demise of my marriage. After being with the same man for 20 years I was terrified at the prospect of starting life over as a single mom. I had never felt so depressed, desperate and alone.
After her presentation the following day, Ann and I stopped in the hotel restaurant for a cup of coffee. We had an hour to kill before I returned her to the airport for her flight back to L.A. I took the opportunity to tell her my sad tale in hopes she would share some of her hard-earned wisdom with me. I dissolved into tears as I told her that the thing I hated most about my situation was that I felt stuck. I felt that I was in a perpetual state of paralyzing fear.
Ann shared with me that she’d felt the same way many times and couldn’t see a way out until she realized that what was causing her angst was the old story she was telling herself. The story she had been telling herself for years had been true at one time, but upon closer examination that particular story no longer applied. That old pattern of habitual thinking needed to be replaced with a new, updated story that accurately reflected her current situation.
Ann suggested that instead of constantly telling myself I was scared, I should try replacing the word “scared” with the word “excited.” When I made that one word substitution I was amazed how my perspective suddenly shifted from feeling doomed and desperate to feeling more positive and downright optimistic about my future.
Lest I forget this important life lesson, I wrote it down on the blank nametag that was in my jacket pocket. That same nametag has been on the bulletin board next to the desk in my office for the past 17 years.
This week take a look at one of the many stories you tell yourself. Check to see if that particular story still applies to who you are right now. If not, change it
May your stories be true and your endings happy.

P.S. I found out later that Ann had been battling colon cancer for several years. She died six months after her visit to Minneapolis.