SO·DA Mo·ment
Defintion: A SODA Moment is the moment during an emotionally-charged conversation or situation when one of the parties loses control and says something they later regret.
It’s been quite a week for emotional outbursts by public figures. Last Thursday, during President Obama’s address to Congress on health care reform, Congressman Wilson in a “spontaneous outburst” called the President a liar. The next day the Senator apologized to the President, but still maintained that the President had lied. Within hours one of Wilson’s political opponents received over $100,000 in contributions. Some say that the Senator’s outburst could cost him the next election.
During the semi-finals of the US Tennis Open on Saturday, Serena Williams smashed her racquet and threatened a line judge with physical harm after getting a penalty. She faces a fine of $ 10,000. The incident is viewed by officials as being so serious that she may be suspended from playing in next year’s US Open.
<Photos from New York Times >

According to yesterday’s New York Times, Williams apologized saying, “Now that I have had time to gain my composure, I can see that while I don’t agree with the unfair line call, in the heat of battle I let my passion and emotion get the better of me, and as a result handled the situation poorly.”

These situations happen frequently enough that I have a special term for them. I call them a “SODA Moment” which is defined as: The moment during an emotionally-charged conversation or situation when one of the parties loses control and says something they later regret.

What’s a “SODA?” SODA is an acronym for a simple four-step process for avoiding getting “hooked” and losing your cool. STOP. (for a millisecond to..) OBSERVE. (what’s really going on) DECIDE. (how best to handle it) and then ACT. (with confidence.)

I’m sure you can recall some SODA Moments of your own. I know I can.

Here are a few take-aways from these recent very public spontaneous outbursts.
1. Remember that you are human. No one is perfect.
2. When you have a SODA Moment (and you will) avoid beating yourself up. It’s a waste of energy.
3. Consider the SODA Moments you do have as costly learning opportunities.
4. Try do better the next time.
5.  In the event that you lose your cool a second time,  review #1 – #4.

This week when a customer, co-worker or family member or that bozo on the freeway pushes your buttons, remember to just let it go. Whatever it was that upset you is not going to matter in a 100 years.