“You know,” she whispered. “Sometimes I feel almost guilty about how much pleasure I get from my job.  I have discovered that when I extend even the smallest kindness, I am repaid a hundred times over.”

Excerpted from the book, The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey.

With the help of Isabel, her wise friend and mentor, Olivia discovered the joy that came from being more kind and generous to others.  While she knew that giving someone a compliment made them feel good, she hadn’t realized that being kind benefited her more.

The next time you praise someone, notice the three “feel good” stages that you experience.

1.  Anticipate the positive reaction of the person who will receive your praise.
2. The actual delivery of the praise when you see the positive reaction of the recipient.
3. The afterglow that you and the recipient feel after the praise.

A supervisor at a NWA reservations call center helped me to recognize these three stages.  A few years ago I called to make a reservation for a trip to Europe hoping to use my accumulated miles without having to pay a lot of additional cash. Bev, the agent I worked with, not only figured out how to make my reservation using more miles than cash, but also arranged an upgrade to business class on the return trip. I told her how much I appreciated her creativity and asked to be transferred to her supervisor. As I was waiting on hold I anticipated the supervisor’s reaction to getting a compliment instead of the usual complaint. As it turned out, the supervisor was not just surprised, she was delighted to hear me rave about Bev and thanked
me profusely. After I hung up, I realized that I had not only made her day, I had made mine as well.