I will always have problems.

“You can never get away from life’s problems.”

Excerpted from the book, The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey.

Olivia was plagued with problems. She was about to get fired from her new job; she and her husband were on the outs; her twins were having problems at school. When she asked her wise friend, Isabel, what she should do, Isabel shared a story that helped her understand that problems are just part of life.

Years ago, when Isabel was in similar straights she had a conversation with her mother that went like this, “I sat down with my mother and related my problems, expecting her to take my side and say everything would be okay. She let me tell my whole sad tale, sitting quietly and saying nothing. I desperately needed some answers. ‘What can I do?’ she pleaded.  Her mother replied, ‘For the ten problems of life that come to us – family troubles, work problems and money worries, finding your way in the world — I have no solution. But you have an eleventh problem. For that one I have help. The eleventh problem is your view that you should not have the ten problems. You can never get away from life’s problems. Thinking that you can get away from them will make you always want to run from your life.’

Several years ago I had a long list of problems, too. I was going through a messy divorce; was facing financial ruin; and my dad had just died after a long illness. I was visiting my friend, CJ, in San Francisco to get a break from it all.

That was where I played my first game of Whac-a-Mole. Picture a board with lots of round holes. The idea was to hit the moles with my mallet as they randomly popped out of their holes. Trouble was, I no sooner hit one mole and another one would pop up and disappear before I could hit it. I remember laughing to myself and thinking that the game was a metaphor for my life at the time.

The military uses the term “Whac -a-Mole” to refer to opposing troops who keep re-appearing: Whack the mole here and it dies, but another pops up in a different spot.

Usually I make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I’ve decided not to. I’m going to put away my mallet, sit back and watch the problems as they come and go. Just like Whac-a-Mole.

I hope 2009 brings you loads of love and happiness.