If I could remember the name of the woman who asked me the question 15 years ago that started me on the path to write The Napkin, The Melon & The Monkey, I would.

Midway through a customer service workshop this young service rep asked me what she could do about irate customers. Barely able to hold hold back her tears she described how stressful it was to have to take so many calls from people who were rude and downright abusive. I could see from the concerned look on their faces that everyone in the room had the same problem.

Taking my trusty magic marker, I drew a stick figure with a happy face on the flip chart and asked them to imagine that this figure represented them. Opposite that figure I drew a stick figure of an angry customer spewing expletives. I explained that when an upset customer was yelling at them, it was very natural to feel threatened and want to defend yourself by fighting back. While that automatic  “fight or flight” response was what enabled our cave man ancestors to react quickly and escape danger, yelling back at a screaming customer or hanging up on them was definitely against the rules.
I went on to explain that the instant they got “hooked” by a customer’s anger, they gave away their power. I guaranteed that that if they could make that one small change – stop for a microsecond to take themselves out of the equation, they would retain their power and have the clarity they needed to come up with the best solution for the customer.

I could see by the thoughtful look on their faces that the idea had registered. But it wasn’t until I read the workshop evaluations that I realized how much impact it had.  Of the 15 participants, 12 said that idea was the most useful thing they learned that day.
I spent the following afternoon in their call center talking informally with the reps about what they learned. Several shared with me that not only had the idea worked beautifully with their customers, they tried using it that evening at home with their spouses and children and got the same astonishing results.

Since that day I have drawn the identical diagram hundreds of times, given the same advice to thousands of employees, and gotten the same positive response.  Eventually, the four-step process for handling challenging situations at work and in life, acquired the acronym SODA (Stop, Observe, Decide, Act).

Seven years ago I wrote a little story about a service rep in a call center whose personal and professional life was transformed when she learned to use SODA. The 150 reps and supervisors who read it, loved it and urged me to get it published. Publishers weren’t interested in The Napkin, The Melon & The Monkey, so I published it myself in 2006.
Today, February 1, 2010, is the day the beautiful hardcover edition published by Hay House is released in the US. The book is sold in India and will be available in the UK in March, as will the German translation.

Thanks to the 7000+ readers who have loved the original book and passed it on to their friends, family and work mates. I am deeply indebted and grateful to the brave woman (wherever you are) who raised that important question 15 years ago. You started a chain of events that I never would have imagined possible.

N E W today: Read an excerpt from the book at the Hay House author’s site