It’s no coincidence that the best leaders are also the best listeners.

In my workshops I ask supervisors to describe the characteristics of a boss whom they admired. Inevitably, listening is at the top of their list. “He took the time to get to know me.” “When she talked to me I could tell she really cared about me.”

In her book, The Zen of Listening, Rebecca Z. Shafir, recommends a technique she calls, “getting into a person’s movie.” She writes, “Truly listening, forgetting yourself for a short time, and getting into the speaker’s movie can be the kindest gift you can give another.”                                                          

Tuning in to someone’s movie requires the listener to do two things: be fully present and resist judging. SODA, (Stop.Observe.Decide.Act) an ancient, four- step formula for staying in the present. I use it to help me remain attentive and in the moment when I’m trying to listen to understand.

Here is an example of how I used SODA as I was listening to a good friend describe a problem he was having with his elderly mother:

• Stop
  It’s not about me. This is his time to talk. Settle in. Watch his movie.

• Observe “what is”
  I’m taking in what he’s saying. Now that I’ve seen his movie, heard the facts and felt the emotion, I need to decide how I should respond.

• Decide
  I have an opinion about how he can handle the situation, but should I offer it? Or, is it best to just listen and be empathetic? I decide not to offer advice unless he asks me.

• Act
  Having decided on what I think is the best course of action, I feel confident that I’m doing the right thing. I’ve focused on his movie and I have no role other than to be here; to be supportive.

As I suspected, my friend didn’t need my advice. Taking the time to listen to his story was enough. In the end I believe he felt better having shared his movie with me.

This week, try sharpening your listening skills by getting into a different person’s movie every day. It doesn’t matter whose movie you pick. When you think about it, we are presented with many movie-watching opportunities every day — from members of our family, people we work with, our friends, and certainly our customers or clients.

Be happy,

Barbara
Copyright 2011 Barbara Burke. All Rights Reserved.

Meet the person behind that voice.

I had a memorable customer service experience yesterday because of a very special agent who went above and beyond in more ways than one.

With Terree’s (not her real name) help I switched to a less costly wireless plan that allowed me to use up my accumulated 11,000 roll over minutes. I was surprised when she volunteered to keepan eye on my account and give me a call when I got close to using them up, at which point “we” would re-evaluate the situation. I asked her if calling back a customer days or months hence was standard procedure she said it really wasn’t, but she did it anyway because it was the the “right thing to do.” No problem, she said since she had time between calls some days. She also volunteered to send me an email when I qualified for an upgrade to a new phone.

Terree struck me as a unique individual who like most people who choose to be “eagles” instead of “ducks,” probably had an interesting story. In a nutshell: Terree’s Mom had been addicted to crack so she was brought up by her Grandma. After working as an RN for 14 years, she left nursing because she was “pushing paper” more than she was helping people.

After that, she worked at various jobs and at one point decided to quit so she could be with her dying Grandma in her last few months of life. After that she drove truck cross country for a few years.

When her little sister was having a hard time with her new baby Terree moved to a little Tennessee town to be with her. After they had a falling out she found herself with no job, homeless and living in a shelter.

Her life changed for the better when she met a reporter for the local newspaper who was so impressed with Terree’s positive attitude in spite of her situation, that she wrote a feature article about her that landed on the front page. Within hours of the paper hitting the stands Terree had multiple job offers and enough money to buy a winter coat.

She’s been working at the wireless service center since December. Now she  has a place of her own and a good car. Terree said she is going back to school so she can start a medical transcription business. She told me “I want to be independent, to be my own person.”

You go girl.

Barbara

Copyright 2011 Barbara Burke. All Rights Reserved.

Prevent your best people from going to the competition.
7 ways to show the Love.

The economy is improving and call centers are beginning to hire again. That means some of your best and brightest employees who have been waiting get back into the job market are dusting off their resumes.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Seven ways to say “I value you!”

1. Show you care.
High performers do a great job without a lot of help from you. That’s the good news.And the bad news. Your best people want to stay but may feel unappreciated. You can fix that — have a conversation with them.

2. Keep them in the loop.
Share what’s happening and invite their input. Your best people are also smart people. Smart people want to know what’s going on

3. Don’t ask them to do more and not pay them.
Sure, it’s okay to ask a talented employee to help out with a project or take more responsibility — occasionally. But do it too often and they feel used.

4. Pay them what they deserve.
I know you hear how you have to keep personnel costs down. Don’t wait for your best people to ask for more. Be proactive. Go to bat for them to get them the compensation they deserve. 

5. Deal with your low performers.
Since your best people are extremely capable it’s too easy to ask them to pick up the slack for others who aren’t meeting the standard. After awhile they’ll resent it and leave.

6. Give them the visibility and recognition they deserve.
Part of your job is to recognize and cultivate the talents of your employees. Advocate for your best people and help them advance in their career. Get a reputation as a people-developer and you’ll attract the top tier of talent.

7. Offer honest feedback.
While giving praise is important, so is providing your best employees critical feedback and advice. Help them develop their true potential. Don’t just be the boss, be a mentor.

Be generous. Show the love.

Barbara

Copyright 2011 Barbara Burke. All Rights Reserved.