December, 2009

Barbara Burke’s Top 3 Aha!s from 2009

By Barbara Burke. December 21st, 2009

Happy Holidays

If you are like me, the end of the year is an opportunity to review the year’s events, appreciate the many blessings received and to think about what you gleaned from the experience. I had several significant “Aha!s” this year. Here are my top three — one of which is about you.

BB’s Personal Aha!s from 2009

1. Life is impermanent. Loved-ones die and there’s not a darned thing you can do about it.
I re-learned this lesson when my best bud, my dog, Layla, died in May.

2. When good things happen — embrace it.
Most everyone has fantasized about writing a book and getting it published by a big publishing house. While I was over-the-moon happy to be in that situation, I had a very hard time getting used to the idea. I kept asking myself “how ?” and “why ?” this happened to me — of all people.

Thankfully, I finally figured it out last summer after a long meditation retreat. I concluded that while I am still not certain how I did it exactly, I managed to write a quasi-autobiographical story about a woman (Olivia) who as the result of a series of life experiences and some sage advice, learns some universal truths. Truths that in the end allowed her to get out of her own way and be a whole lot happier.

As for the “why” part of my question, I concluded that sharing whatever wisdom I have learned (whoops, that Olivia learned….) with other people (via writing, speaking, etc.) is my passion and as such is what I was meant to do. I just didn’t realize it until now.

The truth is, you don’t get a registered letter in the mail that informs you that what you thought you were supposed to do with your life has been trumped by a new purpose that, had you been paying attention earlier, may have occurred to you before now, but now that it has revealed it self — it’s time to embrace it.

3. Having a supportive community makes me way-happy.
This is where you come in. Whether you are a reader of my book, my blog or are one the 1300 people who subscribe to my Monday Aha!s, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support and encouragement has been (hokey as it sounds…) the “wind beneath my wings.”

I have no doubt that my adventure will gain momentum in the coming months. I invite you to enjoy the ride with me. I’d also like to ask you a small favor — if at any time you get the sense that all of this is going to my head, please remind me that it’s not all about me.(Aha! #2)

I wish you and yours a joyous holiday season and new year filled with peace, happiness and many wonderful Aha!s.

Would you fire your boss? Many employees would if they could.

By Barbara Burke. December 14th, 2009

Would you fire your boss?
Results from a Gallup Management Journal survey reveal that 24% of employees would fire their boss if given the chance.

Gallup studied the responses to determine if the level of the employees’ engagement was a factor in whether employees would fire their boss. Not surprisingly 51% of those in the “disengaged” category wanted to see their immediate supervisor or manager gone. These are the same people who said that their boss did not care about them.

The truth is, it’s a lot easier to be nice to the employees who like you than it is to those who do not. Here are some simple things that supervisors and managers can do today to show disengaged employees that they really do value them as a person — not just an employee.

3 Acts of Kindness That Show You Care

1. Take the high road.
OK, so one of your disengaged employees looks daggers at you whenever you meet. Your first inclination is to return the fire. Don’t go there.

2. Try to see them as a suffering human being.The fact is, we are all in the same boat. Every human being on Earth has the same needs and desires. We all have a basic need for others to care about us and value us for our unique combination of talents and abilities.

3. Make an extra effort to be understanding.For example, the next time he or she requests a small thing such as leaving early to attend their child’s class play, try to accommodate them. Sure, they may not “deserve” it but if it’s in your power to do it — make it so.

Showing kindness to people who are probably not going to reciprocate (at least at first) will require you to make a conscious effort not to react the way you used to. To be successful, you will need to be fully present and mindful during each conversation.

The easiest, most effective technique you can use to maintain emotional control in challenging situations is to utilize “SODA” — an ancient four-step process for remaining calm and focused — no matter what happens,

How to apply SODA with a prickly employee

Let’s say one of your disengaged employees comes to you with a problem. Here is how how you’d use the SODA idea step by step.

Step 1. Stop. Pause for a nanosecond to allow yourself to remain calm and composed.This places you in the present moment, allowing you to see things clearly.
Step 2. Observe what is. Your self-talk might be: “Well, what is really going on here is that she is obviously suffering. She is probably suffering in other aspects of their life that I have no way of seeing. I need to be compassionate.”
Step 3. Decide to behave differently than before by responding only after you  calmly listen to fully understand her situation.
Step 4. Act. Respond to her in a manner that shows you respect her and genuinely care about her and her plight.

I guarantee that if you can remember to use SODA when you talk with an unhappy employee, you will end up feeling a lot better about yourself. He or she will feel better, too. Who knows? Eventually your disengaged folks may think you aren’t so bad after all.

10 Surefire Ways to Kill Employee Trust

By Barbara Burke. December 7th, 2009

Some managers and supervisors unwittingly behave in ways that make them seem untrustworthy in the eyes of their employees.

Trust is essential. It is difficult to acquire and once it is lost it’s even harder to regain. The best leaders create a culture of trust by freely sharing information and regularly asking for feedback and input from their employees. Most importantly, highly effective leaders live their values and model the behavior they want to see in their people. Managers don’t always realize that seemingly small things like being late for meetings has a big impact on employee perception.

10 Surefire Ways to Kill Employee Trust

1. Say one thing and do another.
If you don’t think your employees aren’t watching every move you make and every word you utter — think a gain. Actions speak louder than words.
2.Talk more than listen.
It’s no coincidence that the most ineffective managers are lousy listeners.
3. Not acting on employee suggestions.
When you ask for ideas and suggestions for improving your business but don’t acknowledge their value, it won’t be long before your employees keep those great ideas to themselves.
4. Poor time management.
Some managers confuse being overbooked and crazy-busy with being effective. If you aren’t spending at least 50% of your time working with your employees, you need to take a look at your priorities.
5. Being moody.
Employees look for consistency in their leaders. Being in high spirits one day and in the dumps the next make your employees uneasy.
6. Not walking the talk.
When you opt to do the most expedient thing (even occasionally) instead of the right thing in your dealings with customers and other departments your employees will follow your lead.
7. Being late.
Expecting others to be on time and then showing up late is disrespectful. If “mutual respect” is a core value, be a good example by arriving at meetings a few minutes early and ending meetings on time.
8. Not being “present.”
When you are meeting with employees one-to-one make sure that your mind isn’t some place else. When you look distracted you are telling that employee, “I have other things on my mind that are more important than spending time with you.”
9. Breaking appointments.
Believe it or not, most of your employees look forward to regular conversations with you. Hold one-to-one meeting times with your employees sacred.
10. Only talking about business.
The best managers spend a few minutes a day socializing with their their employees. If you asked them what individual employees do in their free time, the ages of their kids and the name of their significant other, they could tell you in a heartbeat.

The best way that I know to build trust is to do two basic things:
> Follow the Golden Rule: Treat others the same way you would like to be treated.
> When making decisions do what you believe in your heart is the “right thing.”

This week let your core values guide your behavior.