I thought that after three weeks, I’d be over it. But, I’m still heartbroken after losing my best friend, Layla. She was a mixed breed (mostly Border collie), that I adopted as a puppy from the pound. I named her after my favorite Eric Clapton song. For the last 10 years she had been my constant companion, confidant and best pal. Going out for a run was the highlight of her day. On the days when I was too lazy or the weather too cold, I’d go out anyway just to see her dance for joy when I reached for her leash. My dog was a trooper right up until she died from a tumor in her heart.

These days I miss her constant presence, but most of all I miss Layla’s innate Dog Wisdom. She reminded me every day to be more patient and not take life too seriously. She taught me other lessons, too.

• When a friend is having a bad day, the best thing you can do is to sit close by and give them a kiss.
• Never stop being curious.
• When you are happy, share your joy with others.
• When a friend ignores you don’t take it personally.
• Never give up. If you’ve lost something important keep looking until you find it.
• Always show your appreciation, even for the smallest kindnesses.
• Sometimes the best time to go out to play is when you have too much work to do.
• Don’t let a little rain stop you.
• When you are offered something new, always give it the smell test.
• Sometimes loud noises mean bad things are coming and sometimes the loud noise is just a loud noise.
• When you are scolded for something you didn’t do, let the person know that you are still their friend.
• Trust your instincts. If you think a stranger isn’t trustworthy, chances are you are right.
• Don’t always eat everything others try to feed you.
• Never pass up a chance to go for a ride in the car on a beautiful day.
• When someone you love comes home kiss them until they say to stop, then kiss them some more.
• No matter how good the other guy looks, be loyal to the one you’ve got.
• A little slobber never hurt anybody.

My friend Layla taught me another important lesson. Her passing reminded me of how impermanent life is and that the people (and dogs) we love won’t be here forever. While I may intellectually understand the fact of impermanence, I don’t want to believe it. I’m not the only one. As the ancient story goes, a king asked a wise man, “What is the greatest wonder in this world?” The wise man replied, “People see death all around them, but do not believe they’re going to die themselves. This is the greatest wonder.”

Enjoy every day. If you are fortunate enough to have a dog in your life, please give him or her an extra hug for me.

Monday Aha!s will resume on July 13th

I’ll be spending the next couple of weeks in the woods of northern Wisconsin at a meditation retreat.

I wonder what it will be like to have no phone, no email, no books, no Diet Pepsi, no MPR, no newspapers, and no contact with the outside world for days on end. I’ll let you know what the experience was like for me when I write the next Monday Aha! on July 13.

“My company is considering having a quiet room. I would appreciate any tips on setting up a room with a very small budget and a list of rules you feel will help create an effective environment.”

I received this email inquiry from Kathy Gallagher last week. With stress-related health problems and employee absences on the rise, it is no wonder that an increasing number of companies are looking for low-cost solutions for reducing the stress levels of their employees. One such solution is to provide a “quiet room”; a place of refuge where frazzled employees can go to get a few minutes of solitude.

A couple of months ago I conducted a brief survey that asked respondents who had Quiet Rooms to share their experiences and lessons learned. Steve Bassett who works in Facilities Management for Wachovia Bank said that his company has a quiet room in each of their 13 call centers (6000 employees). He wrote, “Quiet Rooms are considered an important facility need to create a ‘Great Place to Work’ environment. You take care of the call center agents and they’ll take care of your customers. This is proven true for us since we have received #1 customer service award eight years in a row in our industry.”

Six Tips for Creating a Quiet Room for Your Employees

1. When it comes to rules, less is more.
The vast majority of respondents said they do not have many formal rules for using their quiet room. The employees who use Quiet Rooms understand the need to respect others and maintain silence.

2. Avoid allowing the room be used for other purposes.
Resist the temptation to use the room as a break room, meeting room, a place to make phone calls or access the Internet. Some call centers have a separate “fun room” where employees can go to play video games, watch TV, play board games, etc.

3. Involve staff in the creation of the room.
“Many individuals added items to the room from their own homes to make it comfy and fun.”

4. Locate the room adjacent to the call center and include a window to the outside, if possible.
One respondent said that when they moved their quiet room to a more visible location (closer to the door) they noticed an significant increase in usage.  A surprising number of respondents said a quiet room was actually included in the design of their new facility.

5. When furnishing the room focus on comfort.
Standard furnishings include: comfortable chairs, a small table, lights on dimmers, a small clock, soothing colors on the walls (green was popular) and an area rug. Several said that they had message chairs and sound machines in their rooms. Other ideas worth considering: a lending library of books (employees bring in books to share), a fish tank, lava lamp, stuffed animals, soft-piped in music.

6. Not all employees will use the room regularly, but those who do consider it vitally important.
About 48% of the survey respondents said that between 5% and 15% of their employees used the quiet room in the last week. Another 40% of the respondents said that their room was used by 20% to 40% of employees during same period. “The Specialists appreciate the fact that management supports them and understands what they experience every day; providing them with a quiet room communicates that management “gets it.”

If your company doesn’t have a designated quiet room where employees can go when they need to get away from it all, why not suggest it to upper management? If you are fortunate enough to have a room at your company, take advantage of the opportunity by using it yourself and encouraging others, as well.  You will find that taking time out to sit and “do nothing” for as little as 10 minutes during the work day can make the difference between a good Monday and bad one.

“Once I said the words, ‘I apologize,’ I noticed that the customers’ demeanor did an about face. They instantly stopped yelling and calmed down.”

From The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey

The controversy over whether to offer an apology to a customer surfaced recently during a seminar I did for the Tampa Chapter of the Help Desk Institute.  I recommended apologizing to customers for the inconvenience caused by a problem as a way to reduce tension.  A woman stood up and in protest. She said that she had been instructed to never apologize to a customer because doing so would be an admission of guilt by the company.  If the matter ended up in court, admitting fault could result in a judgment in favor of the customer.

Whoever said that apologizing to a customer is wrong missed the point.

I learned about the value of an apology from some service reps at an electric utility early in my consulting career. I was working with the call center manager on re-vamping the call handling process for high bill complaints. My first step in the process was to capture the best practices of the best reps. I wanted to know what these high performing reps did that enabled them to resolve complaints in a minimum amount of time and generate high marks for customer satisfaction.

What I discovered from listening to their calls was that these reps did one thing consistently: at the beginning of the call they showed empathy for the plight of the customer. I noticed that, as if by magic, when he or she began a sentence with, “I am sorry that happened –” “I can see how frustrating this must be for you –” or “I apologize for the inconvenience –” everything changed. These reps understood one of the Basic Truths of customer service: all any customer wants when he or she calls with a problem is to have someone listen to them and take responsibility for fixing it.

In my workshop on dealing with irate customers (irate customers are considered service reps’ number one problem), I give them the following assignment: create a phrase that you can use when you are faced with an angry, frustrated customer. The phrase should contain language that lets the customer know three things:
•    You have listened to him or her.
•    You empathize with his or her plight.
•    You are committed to doing everything you can to find a solution.

This week, if you don’t already have a handy phrase you use to reduce the anger of a customer (or any one) and communicates empathy, consider creating one. You will find that showing compassion for the suffering of another person works wonders for your relationship.

Make it a wonderful week,

Marshall Goldsmith Update. For those of you who caught last week’s Monday Aha! you may be interested to know that Marshall Goldsmith delivered on his promise to write an endorsement for my book, The Napkin, the Melon & the Monkey. In his email to me, he thanked me AGAIN for asking him to write an endorsement. What a guy.